Hey lovers and friends,
Here’s some of the quotes I’ve been gathering these past two semesters. Let me know if I missed any. Enjoy! I know I did.
Thanks for a great year,
I love you all!!
I banged and then I put it up!
How can we have sex if you’re not drunk when I am?
It’s like anytime someone is with you they blackout.
Ball til I fall
Work the metaphor.
I don’t think it’s her intentions…. But it always happens.
So you’re mom was on facebook chat…
And I didn’t know if I should tell her about last night
Should I tell Connie about last night?
How can you lick off a fish?
When your hungover like this, there’s no need for liquor sales on a Sunday.
Who says you can’t get stoned? Who’s says?
I’ll make you cum in 20 seconds.
The property level j went down.
Did I j eat foreskin?
Stomach aches stop after 7.
Ashley talks in baby voice 100% of the time when she’s drunk.
The whole house was boning last night.
There was an earthquake at 12th and Grant last night.
I would make out with him if he paid me.
If you can’t fuck em, fuck em.
You can go to Yogis with weed in your pocket.
I don’t know where I skated to.
Where’s Prince when you need purple rain?
Will you j love me a little more?
Happiness is a three song encore.
Dance! Yous a sexy fish!
You want to send me a picture of my asshole?
But I kinda used him cuz he has a long curvature penis.
Did you make brownies last night?
Jacked & tan
You can drink it in the morning.-dad pointing at a bottle of grey goose
Idk. The Valium is starting to kick in.
Ok. One of these is roofed.
He does me at his house. Oh my god.
She’s a hot he/she. I got over it.
That ones empty. Can I have another?
Smart nigs can’t run.
Real men don’t care.
For some reason, beer is not that bad in the morning.
The weiners were in the crotchpot?
You should talk, you fuckin faggot.
Sometimes the goat gets you.
A little dusty. Makes the night go smoother….
It tastes like church.
What better place than a mascaraed ball!
What? You don’t want my seeds?
They never let me get that drunk in 6th grade.
Why won’t the Navy let me do drugs?
They need to legalize potjuana.
They should let niggas who shoot shit, smoke shit. that’s all I’m saying….
I’m so light-headed. I’m so dizzy. I’m so fucked up.
Sometimes you need to figure it out.-Nathan
Because Ariel was MY girlfriend….
No. She’s a monster.
I thought 16 was legal.
Damn. It still tastes like church.
Leaning tower of potza.
True life: I love pizza.
I hate dicks. What nooo. I love dick.
That weed and pizza really saved my balls last night.
What if they’re all douchebags?
I study domes.
They are the cutest. They’re not always the smartest.
Your life is dependent on me!
Keep touching the treasure.
Are you winning?
I’m prolly …. (pause) down some now.
Watch out. I’m crazy!
I want to close your eyes.
Ew, he’s being so emo right now.
I tested her one time.
Sex is squishy.
Because I smell terrible.
You need more alcohol.
Poppin caps all day
I’m gonna cry when I shit.
I j laid there like a dead fish.
Me and X j smoked like two hours ago and I’m still high.
I just met the great white shark homie and he’s a beast!
I thought you said “suck-dick-failure”!
Cuz I know you sucked my whole life on Broadripple
Maybe cuz we had “mind erasers”.
Every little thing you do is magic… No no it’s not.
Bouncer? Ill Bounce him around… Unless he knows Kungfoo.
Why do you do that? Oh please.
That cigarette got me drunk again.
Did that rice make me turn blue?
So I found this dead bird in the trunk of my car….
It tickles my butt hole … In a mental way.
Two in the front, four in the back. …Damn, you gots some big holes.
I didn’t want to say I was tickling her… It was a long summer
I was so scared. I couldn’t shower for a week.
I smell like pizza. You smell like pizza. We both smell like pizza and it grosses me out.
What’s up 8th grader?
Can you tweet in jail?
Dude something is wrong with my ass.
I had a gap the size of Mt Everest. No, that doesn’t make sense. I had a gap the size of the Grand Canyon. You could drive a truck thru it.
I’m wearing a jacket?!
That why u Fuck um and don’t.
Show me some Molly and maybe I’ll take it.
Just dance like you’ve never dance before.
Told him not even to come back after spring break cuz he’s soooooo stupid.
I was looking to fight someone all night. It was my goal.
I’m not getting hard.
I’m crunk as fuck right now.
I never know what happens to her.
Who gives a hand job? I’d rather put my mouth on it!
I’ll take one of your domestic drafts. -Megan Frost
Pace yourself young grass hopper.
Tyler Colvin? Who’s Tyler Colvin? If he hits a homerun I’ll make out with you.
Nevermind about the tools, how bout dem girls?
Just keep your dad away from the trees.
Go big, fuck home!
I gonna go to my car and smoke a big fat joint.
I j wanna smell it.
I’m catholic. I can do pretty much anything and say I’m sorry and it’s okay. It’s the truth right?
Jesus hates the Yankees!
I can’t even spell biology.
When you’re having sex with the spawn of Satan, it’s better to not ask questions.
Bankers do coke.